The first time I was exposed to yoga was when I signed up to take a beginner’s class in college. Being a shy teenager, I felt like an awkward giraffe, totally out of my comfort zone and couldn’t wait to get out of there. I only went once and decided to stick with aerobics (it was the 90’s).
Years later after the birth of my second child I added yoga back into my fitness routine to improve my flexibility. I treated my yoga practice as just an occasional aside to all the cardio I was doing and eventually it just fell away again.
When I reached my early 30’s my husband and I decided to try for a third child. After five years of dealing with fertility issues we came to terms with the fact that we had the family we were meant to have.
A huge weight was lifted as we moved towards gratitude. Being a few years away from my 40’s I decided to hit that milestone in the best shape I had ever been. I did an hour of cardio and 30 minutes of weight training six days a week without fail.
Two years later I was exactly where I wanted to be, then BOOM, I discovered I was pregnant. I was shocked, and then excited. I was confident that I was the fittest I had ever been so this pregnancy would be a breeze. I met with my doctors, and they agreed that there was no reason I couldn’t continue my workouts, so I didn’t skip a session.
At about 13 weeks into my pregnancy, I almost lost my daughter to a miscarriage. Then the dominos started to fall, and I had one complication after another. I was bedbound for six months, had to inject blood thinners into my stomach everyday and had gestational diabetes. My strict diet and exercise regimen was a thing of the past. I wasn’t resentful, I would have done anything they told me to do to keep my baby healthy. I spent the last two trimesters of my pregnancy dealing with the anxiety of my body betraying me. It got to a point where I was even afraid to move.I was blessed to make it to full term and gave birth to a perfect baby girl.
When I reached the point that I was cleared to exercise again, I didn’t know my body anymore. I didn’t move the same, or even feel the same. I tried getting back into my former routine, but I wasn’t finding the joy in it that I used to. I decided to join a Piloxing studio and took classes two days a week, but I still wasn’t connecting with my body. I was just going through the motions.
In looking for something I could do at home I discovered some free yoga courses through one of my streaming services. They were very foundational, but they were exactly what I needed to learn basic theory and terminology.
After a few months I was eager to dive deeper, and that’s when I discovered Yoga Happy. I began by taking the Yoga Strength Foundations challenge in 2022.
I really enjoyed Hannah’s teaching style and how empowered I was starting to feel. After a few months of doing daily practices, I had an a-ha moment. Having Hannah give me permission to drop the idea of perfection was life changing. It finally clicked with me that I could let go of all the pressure I have always put on myself, and in doing that I have such a deeper connection with my practice.
I might not be strong enough yet to get into every pose, I might not have the flexibility to reach every shape, my mind might not stop racing during meditation, but all of that is ok. Yoga just is. It’s there for you no matter how you are feeling that day, physically and mentally.
I made a commitment to myself on January 1st of 2023 I wouldn’t skip a day of yoga and I haven’t missed one yet. I take my travel mat with me if I’m going to be away from home and have even done short, seated flows while on 12-hour flights. That’s what is so perfect about the app, it’s always accessible.
At this point in my yoga journey, I am content with the knowledge that there will always be more to learn and new ways to grow. I can see the positive changes it has on my body in the way I carry myself. I will never age out of yoga and am excited to see where it takes me.
